How to Scheme Like a Mastermind
by JSP Cullen
Summary: Edward has a master-evil plan that will not only make the Swan girl back off, but allow Jacob to see that he was Edward's mate, whether he imprinted on the vampire or not. Jakeward.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

_Warnings: slash, male x male action_

_First Jakeward. I hope it's pleasant. _

**How to Scheme Like a Mastermind**

**Prologue**

When Jacob was at the Cullen's house, everyone was ecstatic, mainly because they didn't have to deal with a moping vampire, who brooded for hours on about the endless possibilities of where his wolf friend could possibly have been throughout their hours apart from each other.

Of course, Edward, being the overbearing hundred-year-old vampire that he was, never thought twice about the fact that "his Jacob" had other friends to tend to as well, and settled for interrogating the poor wolf every chance he got.

Jacob, being the oblivious boy that he was, answered every question without hesitance, and happened to voice his curiosity about why Edward was asking the questions he did, if Jacob had already told him what he'd do the day they weren't due to see each other.

Edward would then come up with lame excuses that proved his incapability to lie, and it was beyond the Cullens how Jacob bought all that bullshit with a smile and a nod, and relented in his pursuit to force more bullshit out of Edward.

Even as his siblings snickered and flung taunting remarks behind his back, Edward had found it in his unbeating heart to disregard them.

"As long as Jacob is here," Alice would then quietly sigh with googly eyes in her best impersonation of Edward's hopelessly-in-love voice. It wouldn't last long, however, because Alice would burst into giggles and Emmett's roaring laughter would be heard from his room upstairs.

Jacob would quirk an eyebrow, a slight teasing smile curving at the corner of his lips, as he eyed an annoyed Edward who remained unmoving next to him, a permanent displeased scowl on his face.

There were times when Jasper joined into the fun, stealing away the wolf's attention and drawing him away from Edward's side. He had always succeeded in capturing Jacob's attention, but had to deal with the murderous glare burning into his sole being as long as his arm was locked around Jacob's waist, guiding him through the many hallways in their mansion-like home.

Messing with Edward had to be their family's favorite pastime, seeing as how his siblings always managed to do it every time Jacob came around. It was either Alice or Japser or Emmett. Even Rosalie got a piece of the action. The tasteless warnings thrown their way by Edward never ceased, and neither did their harassment of Edward's _alone time _with Jacob.

And then there were times when the roles were switched, and Jacob was upset at Edward.

During those dark, ominous days, everyone suffered.

Edward would be at his worst, dejectedly moving about in his room, grieving about what he had done wrong and why his best and only friend was mad at him. At times like these, Alice would wonder if her brother would cry if he could.

So when Edward became so undoubtly depressed after days of not seeing the Quileute wolf after an argument or two, it was up to Alice to lure Jacob out of La Push and ambush him with her crestfallen brother.

It worked rather well most of the time.

Edward would return with an unbashful grin and he would be seen maintaining some sort of physical contact with the wolf, whether it was having his arm around Jacob's waist, around his shoulders, or flat against the small of Jacob's back. The entire coven of vampires, with the exception of Carlisle and Esme, would roll their eyes and wonder how Jacob was so naive to not even notice Edward's undying affection for him.

The real bitch that grated on Edward's nerves was when Jacob chose to appear at the house unannouced. Not that he minded, of course, because Edward was more than ecstatic to have the wolf as company, but those were usually the days Edward had to go hunting, and Jacob was left in the "care" of his siblings.

And, besides, who knew what kind of crap his siblings would feed Jacob during those few hours he was gone. It was a disaster for Edward to think about.

There was once when Edward came back from hunting to find Emmett on top of Jacob.

It took him approximately five seconds to process the fact that they were _wrestling_, something completely different than what Edward was thinking, and, even then, he had fought to stay calm, resisting the urge to pounce and wrestle the vampire off his friend.

Alice had described Edward as a ticking time bomb- volatile and destructive, yet possessed that irritating jibber that drilled at your facade for days on end, until you eventually growl and snap because it was so darn annoying.

It was difficult being a happy vampire without Jacob.

Edward was the one percent and Jacob happened to be the other ninety-nine. Edward was the pie crust and Jacob was the blueberry filling. Edward would even be the fat kid at a party, if Jacob was the cake... but then again, if he was fat, the wolf probably wouldn't cast him a second glance.

The vampire sighed.

As silly and hackneyed as it sounded, the wolf completed Edward.

Wholly and entirely.

*** * Jakeward * ***

"_Edward!_" Jacob huffed, rolling his eyes and shoving the brooding 17-year-old playfully.

The vampire had been prodding and poking his head into his business ever since Jacob announced with a dark scowl that he'd be doing his homework for the first time ever.

Edward smirked, his marble-like body not moving a single inch from hovering behind Jacob, who sat at the soles of his feet and between his parted legs.

He refused to move, being quite content with having to share more intimate touches with the wolf than any other member of his family.

From a spectator's point of view, it looked like they were humping each other, but in reality Edward was just being "needy," as Alice had so nicely put it.

Jacob sighed and turned back to the Biology homework laid out on the coffee table before him.

"Seriously, if I don't finish this, Mr. Banner's going to assign me to tutoring sessions. I'm telling you, Eddie, he's out to get my ass, and it fucking sucks, because my ass is _lagging_."

Edward automatically frowned. He disapproved of the implied innuendo in that statement, but he doubted Jacob had caught it, so he let it slide.

A brief giggle rang like chimes through the living room, followed by the mocking word "Language!" from upstairs. Alice was now a running activist in ruining Edward's time with Jacob. _Again._

He watched as Jacob absent-mindedly brought his hand through his hair and chuckled, two gestures Edward would have found endearing, if Jacob weren't so keen on focusing his attention on that pile of junk spread out on the table.

It was getting more attention from Jacob than Edward and Edward didn't approve.

He reasoned, however, that the more focused the younger teenager was, the quicker he would finish and the more time he'll have to spend with Edward. But... despite anything to the contrary, logic has its bad moments.

Even if Jacob was focused on his assignment and he'd finish earlier, he wouldn't complete it early enough to have some spare time to spend with Edward, because his dad wanted him home early. It was currently six-thirty and Jacob would need another fifty minutes to finish his homework. So, if his dad wanted him home before eight and the ride to La Push from his house was approximately thirty minutes, Edward would have exactly ten minutes to spare before Jacob had to leave.

Edward sighed. _'It wasn't fair!'_ he wanted to whine, but Jacob wouldn't appreciate his ruining his concentration.

There was always the other option- Edward applying himself and doing the work for Jacob.

However, when he had first announced it a few months back, Jacob had said that he appreciated it, but he needed to know the material or else he'd fail the tests, even as Edward insisted that he'd do fine.

So, dejectedly, though being the good vampire that he was, Edward sat there quietly and played with Jacob's hair as the Quileute shapeshifter grumbled about cruel teachers who had no lives.

Nothing ever turned out how Edward wanted and it, how did the humans put it, _sucked. _Yeah. It sucked.

He grunted. It also didn't help when his logic always worked against him. It was just so eccentric how he was able to lose to all his internal debates.

The vampire sighed again, tapping his long, nimble fingers against the arm of the sofa. But those were just the _technicalties. _

It was then that Edward noticed the lack of motion coming from the pencil lightly gripped in Jacob's hand. He cleared his thoughts and focused on the wolf's, furrowing his brows as he picked up a specific line.

_'Tutoring's a bitch. If I get that Newton guy... Dear, God! The horror!'_

He noticed the silent shudder that coursed through Jacob's body and couldn't help but frown. What could that kid do that'd make his wolf react in such a way?

Then, images of Mike Newton's not-so-subtle flirting and touches bombarded Edward's fragile mindset, leaving him unamused.

_Translation: Edward Cullen was not a happy vampire._

And an unhappy vampire reacted impulsively; in this case, there were two options.

Option one: glare at said human with so much hatred that it'd make him piss in his pants and act as though a restraining order was set between Jacob and him.

Or... option two: make him suffer. Suffer! _Suffer!_

A small, evil cackle sounded at the back of Edward's mind, urging him to choose option two above all else. But, despite wanting to oblige and being slightly disturbed, Edward chose option one. He wouldn't want to cause a catastrophe and reveal what he- what his family- was.

Jacob's sigh brought Edward out of his contemplation. He eyed him curiously, as Jacob pushed away his book and worksheets, and turned his body fully around.

Edward was met with a half annoyed, half amused look. He blinked and cocked his head, idly noticing that five minutes had passed since the last time he had glanced at the clock.

"You have got to _stop _thinking so much, Edward. I can't read minds, but, _hell_, if I could, I'd have a migraine by now." Jacob emphasized the "you" in his words with a slight jab to Edward's chest.

Edward frowned. He hadn't thought out loud, so how could Jacob have known that he was lost in his own musings? Jacob couldn't read his mind, could he? No, that was impossible; if he did, Edward would have known. Oh, wait... Jacob had just said that he couldn't read minds.

A sheepish grin curved onto his cold lips.

Maybe, Jacob just knew him well, well enough to know when Edward was thinking.

He just hoped that the wolf didn't know _what _he was thinking about, because, although Edward liked it when Jacob thought that he was a good vampire, his inner self and thoughts contradicted such, making Edward seem like a not-very-good vampire. The term "bad" was just too harsh in Edward's point of view.

"There you go again." Jacob's voice pulled Edward back to the world of the living. Unfortuately, he couldn't pop back out with a neon-green sign that read, "I'm alive and workin' it."

"Sorry," he muttered, folding his arms in his lap.

An aggravated sound escaped Jacob's lips.

"Am I distracting you?" Edward asked earnestly.

Jacob shot him a look. "What do you think?" he retorted, folding his well-muscled arms across his chest.

Edward's head hung dejectedly. "I'm sorry. If you want, I'll head upstairs and read a book or something, so that you could do your homework in peace... without me..." He sighed, in what Alice called, dramatically.

Sometime when he was moping, Jacob groaned and muttered something about a 'Greek god'.

He only looked up when he heard papers fluttering and a book being snapped shut. To his satisfaction, he noticed that Jacob was shoving the material away into his backpack.

"You and that overbearing emoness of yours," he heard the wolf admonish with a soft smile as he sank into the sofa next to him.

Edward turned his head and grinned back. "It's not a crime to want to spend some time with you," he stated, snaking an arm around Jacob's shoulders.

Jacob snorted. "It is when you're being hormonal about it."

Edward bristled, his crooked grin rapidly turning into a small grimace. "I am not hormonal," he denied, horror clearly written across his face. "I enjoy analyzing and confirming observations, which, in turn, become theories because they have substantial evidence, establishing a standard claim," he stated rather seriously.

"Sure, sure," Jacob replied, clearly amused, "like I said, hormonal."

"I am _not _hormonal, Jake."

Three identical snorts laced with amusement echoed into the living room, followed by a giggle.

Jacob smirked when he noticed the drooping of Edward's lower lip, imitating a pouting gesture. It made the vampire look, well, cute.

He chuckled when his friend glared at him, apparently reading his thoughts. Something along the lines of "Cute is for little girls; I'm a dangerous vampire with fangs" must have flew through Edward's mind, if the slight nod was anything to go by.

"Esme made a few sandwiches before you came," Edward announced, standing up at exactly the same time Jacob did. "They're in the fridge and I can just warm them up in the microwave."

Jacob nodded slowly, his annoucement about being famished disappeared. God, he hated it when Edward did that.

Nevertheless, he follwed the vampire into the kitchen, where he sat on one of the chairs as Edward proceeded to pull the entire plate out of the fridge, unwrap the foil, and pop it into the microwave.

He would have turned around and grinned at Jacob, if it weren't for Alice's grand entrance, twirling on her heels with Jasper and Emmett behind her.

"Jake!" she squealed, launching herself in his arms. Jacob chuckled and welcomed her embrace, ignoring Edward's glare and rolling his eyes. Unknowingly to him, Alice had grinned and stuck her tongue out at her sibling, as if to say, "Look what I can do whenever I want."

When she finally moved away, Edward was not a very pretty sight. Everyone ignored him; though Jasper squirmed a bit at the amount of emotion that swerved through his being.

"Thunder tomorrow!" Alice announced with a bright smile. "You're going to join us, aren't you, Jake?" she asked.

"Hmm... I don't think I can," Jacob replied. "My dad wants me home early today, because he wants me to be up early tomorrow to pick up Bella at the airport."

With that statement, Edward froze.

Who the hell was Bella?

And, once again, his mind launched into conjuring endless possibilites about who this girl was to Jacob.

All in all, he didn't notice the secretive smile adoring Alice's face.


End file.
